A relationship is a constant move between the appearance and the essence of people and things.
The appearance is the perception of people or things by our senses. The essence is the true nature of people or things.
The essence, for ourself, others, or things, is not discovered by the senses but by the experiences …Being able to Reach our essence requires compassionate environment and is a personal journey … There is a famous quote in Latin : Usus magister Optimus est, which means expérience is the best master.
But we live in a world where appearance matters a lot … and show who is balanced or not.
Why we prefer to listen top graduated people instead to people who have the right answers ?
Because appearance matters, most people imagine the top graduated never failed, and feel confortable to listen them …but balanced people don t care , they want an useful answer, wherever it comes from.
Being aware about the use of appearance is a great advantage for people who want to stay balanced.
You must be able to draw a social image of yourself. What the first thing people see ?
I am one legged, with no prosthetic leg …grew up in the very toxic place. I am associate with weakness and suffering and prospective dependency. That s the other s thinking, not mine. But I have to deal socially with this kind of thinking if it s the dominant view. The dominant view is not the perfect view in the right place to blossom. In Eastern countries, I am seen as a top resilient man !
So, my essence is being a loyal , resilient, affective and kind man… I can consider deal with that , being focus on my health. If I am seen weak and in suffer, it s ethic to consider my health should be protected. And people who consider really my well being could be good friends. My body is my first community support !
Judmental attitude is a poison but it s everywhere and we must be able to understand how to deal with ….
My essence is smartness and autonomy in decision making, but I don’t Have the right CV and the right pro background …. And in the society, people love to control others.
No one expect anything from me, even with my huge skills and wish to serve. I don t inspire trust in the place where I am . It s cultural because in others places, I can do … So, focus on my own pro autonomy with an independent project, it s my only way to impact others positively.
Apparence should be only the politeness of relationships !
Focus on my health, I send the message I am an independent person….
Focus on my autonomy, I send the message, I am a strong person ….
So, an healthy individualism is based on a deep self understanding and also of an clean awareness of our own appearance